Madness indeed. As I embark on my very first "festival season" (as the locals call it) I can now say that I survived two of the many to come. Oyster Fest was on Saturday and was mediocre at best. With a $30 ticket for admission I was expecting some amazing freebies coming my way, no dice. The line to get the oysters gave me bad flashbacks to my days of waiting in the GA unemployment office with no end in sight (I never ended up actually getting them), there was a line to get beer "tokens" which you then bought and proceeded to wait in another line for the actual beer...dumb.
Bay to Breakers is the Big Poppa of them all and man, they were right. I have been to many a festival in my ripe old age of 25, but this day definitely takes the cake on a few different levels. Let me break it down:
1. Public nudity (surprise surprise most of the nude people were dudes and old and totally shouldn't be naked, but for some strange reason that's the way that always works out)
2. Creativity (so many amazing costumes to choose from, top 2 are double dare from Nickelodeon including "slime" colored beer and the never-nudes (a somewhat obscure reference to David Cross's character on the tv show Arrested Development).
I pranced around all day with a particularly lame pairing of costume closet throwaways and my own personal leg warmers. I was upset with myself for a brief moment for being completely unoriginal and not funny but I was soon drunk and forgot why I was even there in the first place. As you walk through the city streets, people stand on the side walk and gawk at all the freaky looking people and take tons of pictures. The bathroom issue is a tough one for the ladies because popping a squat in a alley with 100 other people hardly goes over as well as just turning your back to the crowd (damn men have it so easy). But with that said, I am glad because I asked this nice older looking gentleman standing outside a beautiful victorian if I could use their bathroom, half expecting to be spit on, he kindly let me in where I was greeted with the most amazing place I have seen in the city so far (and there was cheese and wine to boot whatttt). As I sat my cold, drunk butt down on their gold plated toilet (no joke) I started laughing to myself at what my life had brought me thus far. What a weird, mad year this has been!
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I thought all the toilets were gold and that is why the rent is so high ;-)
ReplyDeleteSounds like education never stops and your post graduate degree in sociology is getting off to a great start....party on garth (oh I guess I am the square but that is the next post). Love you, love your words. Be safe.